If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
