Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
