Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
