I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
