If that was your dad, he is hot
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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