Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
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Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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