i need an iv and a liver transplant
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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