And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want a musical about memes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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