i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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