Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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