Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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