I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
