Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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