my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
