oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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