I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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