The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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