My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
