he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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