I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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