We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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