billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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