lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
