Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
