I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
