Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
