i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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