You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
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he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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