Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
