I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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