Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
