Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
