If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
