he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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