That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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