i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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