is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
