At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
