He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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