she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
