We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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