so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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