when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
