Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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