i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we're blogging at a bar
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
