Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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