so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
