I should be sponsored by Trojan
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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