She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
