Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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