My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
