i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
