I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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