She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
