i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
