your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
