I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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