Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
