Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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