i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
