Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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