Do vagina's smell?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm passing your future prison.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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