i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
