Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
