Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am available for nakedness
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
