Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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