Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
